Have you ever had something in your life, no matter its tangibility, & knew that there would never be a point in time where it did not exist?
Where this thing, this idea, this person or this feeling would somehow forever be a part & take a part of you every single day? How hopeless.
I am stripped of hope at this idea.
I have one of these "things."
It eats at me always, waiting for me to restore, then eats some more.
It's never really quiet - always makes itself known that it's there, waiting for me to notice & then choke me with a fire that I feel I will never escape. How hopeless.
I am emptied of hope at this idea.
But to choose.
To choose to lose the feelings that you feel when thinking of the "thing."
To choose to not run but face the memories & not drown but give up the fight.
Because it was never yours in the first place.
To choose salvation, restoration & redemption over shame, guilt, depression, aggression, regression.
To choose love over damned hate.
How hopeful.
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